i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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