Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
