If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
