remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
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