I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
