i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize