why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
