but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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