Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize