I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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