I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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