I can tuck mytits in my pants
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
