you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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