after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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