I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
