If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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