Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
