He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
