you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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