She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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