i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
