Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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