So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I will pee on everything he values.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
