i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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