your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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