You're a womanizer and a bitch.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
