So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
