I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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