Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
