Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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