I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Pants are for mortals
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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