my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
