so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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