I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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