i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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