she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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