Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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