I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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