i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
