Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
