OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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