So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
