If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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