Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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