Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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