Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
