Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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