Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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