So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
