I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
