just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
