We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
