It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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