Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
