sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
