why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
