Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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