You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
