Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
