I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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