so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize