It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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